some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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