Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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