Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
