what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
