Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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