I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
