well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
