Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
