I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
