Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
