I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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