i think my mom watched the whole time
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
