"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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