I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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