She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
