I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
