Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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