i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
