I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
