i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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