I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
