We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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