Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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