dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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