you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
