so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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