quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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