Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
