Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
