would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
