I hate your face
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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