that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
