No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
