BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
