hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
