I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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