I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
