Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
