actually, I'm a sock model
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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