It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
