I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
