I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
