As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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