I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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