no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
