The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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