There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
