Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
