dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
