You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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